How To Turn Men Down

I love this!

HE Can I buy you a drink?
SHE Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE I'm a photographer.. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE Hi. Didn't we go on a date once or was it twice?
SHE Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE I must've been given your share.

HE Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE Your face must turn a few heads
SHE And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE Okay, get out.

HE I think I could make you very happy
SHE Why? Are you leaving?

HE What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE Can I have your name?
SHE Why? Don't you already have one?

HE Shall we go see a movie?
SHE I've already seen it.

HE Where have you been all my life?
SHE Hiding from you.

HE Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE Is this seat empty?
SHE Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE So, what do you do for a living?
SHE I'm a female impersonator.

HE Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE Do not enter.

HE If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

HE Where have you been all my life?
SHE Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams

via Sunil Bali